Out of the two dysfunctional patterns, complementary and symmetrical, I think the hardest one to change would be the symmetrical one. The book describes this pattern as both partners trying to fight for the one-up position and or struggle to take control. I think it would be hard to change this pattern because it is a personality trait that would have to change. When two people act alike all the time, it can become very competitive. In relationships, the best pair is opposites. "Opposites Attract," is what I believe in in the LONG run of a relationship. Also, I believe that the symmetrical pattern will create the most damage in a relationship. When two people are always in competition to take the upper hand, damaging things can occur; like regretful words and actions that cannot be taken back. I know if I were in this type of relationship I would become very frustrated because we can never be at ease, I would feel tension way more than I should. When it comes to self-esteem, I believe the complementary pattern would be the most damaging. The book defines this as one partner takes the one-up position and the other takes the one-down. In a parent and child relationship, this is a normal type of pattern to occur, but when you are in an intimate relationship, it becomes very diminishing when you are always 'wrong.'
When I was reading your post I noticed that we basically said the same things. We both agreed that the symmetrical pattern would be the hardest one to change because you have to change who you are in order to make that one happen. I really liked that you explained it like that. I also liked that you brought up the theory of "opposites attract" because although I didn't write about that in my post I completely agree with that. We also agreed on the pattern that wold be the most damaging to someone. You did a really good job with this post and I enjoyed reading it.
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