"Stage-phoning, phone-shielding"

As i read through the chapter i decided to pick two terms to discuss. The first one is stage-phoning. Stage-phoning is when someone pretends to be making important phone calls to impress bystanders. I have never actually done this but i have had someone do it to me. At SJSU there are people all around all the time. I am a very outgoing person and loves to meet people. When i am at school i ind it hard to not say hi or meet someone. There are a lot of people who try to get you to sign their petition, and to be honest it just gets on my nerves when they are constantly bugging. One time a guy approached me and tried to use his 'swag' to talk to me. When i blew him off he actually found it a way to 'get in.' As we were talking, he randomly said oh i really need to take this call; my girlfriend is flying in from New York. Turns out no one was calling because when he was 'on the phone' his phone rang aloud for an incoming call. haha. i honestly do not understand why people do that. I guess it is nerves when they are struggling for conversation. This leads me to phone-shielding. Phone-shielding is when someone pretends to take a call to avoid unwanted interactions. I have definitely done this! There have been times where it becomes a safety issue so i will do that to avoid scary people! I don't think that phone-shielding is a bad thing because it can really save you.

"Cyberspace Friendships"

When it comes to the internet, I am one of the few who does not post my life away. The internet to me is actually a scary place to post whatever you want because ANYTHING you post on the internet/email/text/ can be found somehow. There is no privacy what-so-ever. I have never met anyone on the internet and do not currently have any friendships over through the mass media. The reason I have not met anyone exclusively online is because you really never know who you are dealing with. I am too scared to give out personal information online. One of my mom's friend met a man online and they started dating and everything was all fine and dandy, until they got married that is. Turns out he just needed a green card. The closest I have ever come to online friendships is when my boyfriend and I were long distance. He lived in Oklahoma and I lived here in California. Hardest thing I ever had to go through! Not having face to face contact was harder than i thought it would have been. We need contact to create effective communication between each other, especially when we are in an argument. I wouldn’t recommend long distance, and definitely NEVER meeting someone online. You have to have a lot of trust for something like that. There are too many crazy people out there!

"Proper Etiquette"

Our book gives us a table of different types of etiquette for our generation today within the use of different technologies. When it comes to cell phones I agree with the book that they should be used during personal time. They should not be used in public areas whereas it affects the people who surround them. The only time I can think of a time where they should be used in public is if it is an emergency. When it comes to answering machines, I don’t necessarily agree with the book. It is your answering machine so do with it what you wish. The only time that becomes a problem is when your job or business calls and you have something that is inappropriate. Conference calls are just confusing all around. I have never been in a conference call, but I have a family member that has to participate in them all the time. All I can say about that is to know what you are doing prior to being involved in one. Faxes are also confusing to me. Faxing conversations seems pointless, so don’t do it. I think the proper etiquette for faxes would only be to fax what you need and nothing else. The only time I have really encountered an inappropriate use of technology is when people use their cellular devices in movie theaters. It becomes EXTREMLY annoying when a beep going off every five minutes and a HUGE white screen gets shined in my face. I personally find it so rude when I am put on hold in a personal call that is. We are having a casual conversation don’t then you gotta go because another friend is calling..... RUDE.

Organizational Communication

As we read in chapter Eight, organizations are in almost all aspects of your life. When we work, go to a store, drive down the road, there is an organizational 'something' to all of it. When it comes to organizations that are tied into the environment we live in, we can definitely see the organizational patterns. We live in the city so our town is more structured than smaller towns. We are a very busy city and contain a lot of people who need to be here there and every where. Organizations are not just people who run operations, they are filtered in all around. For an example, when we drive down the street, we all 'know' the rules and become and organization when we are behind the wheel. I attend SJSU and it is in the middle of downtown San Jose. Our school is appropriately suited for the surrounding environment. SJSU is a commuter school and is always on the go, just as the city is. The organization SJSU upholds is important to the surrounding environment because it is a structure and place of habit and growth.

"Unattractive"

When it comes to choosing a possible romantic partner, there are many filters I use to eliminate people that I consider. I am not one to judge a book by its cover because I don’t my outside image matches my inside image. One thing I do look for is somewhat of height. I am a tall woman and it is often that men are shorter than me. My boyfriend is the same height as me so it works out. What I find unattractive in a man is when there is no personality and or they are too into themselves. My personality is all over the place and becomes very impatient with boring people. It is such a turn off when I cannot carry on a conversation with someone. Also if a man treats his mother poorly, that is another no-no for me. The way a man treats his mother is the same way he will treat his girlfriend. When it comes to Duck's theory, I do understand what he is saying. I can’t really put myself into his theory because I have only been with one person and I have known hi, since I was five so there weren’t any judgments when I 'met' him. I had a friend who was long distance for a while and I was so against it because how could there be trust? I would have eliminated that partner simply because of the long distance.

"Dysfunctional Patterns"

Out of the two dysfunctional patterns, complementary and symmetrical, I think the hardest one to change would be the symmetrical one. The book describes this pattern as both partners trying to fight for the one-up position and or struggle to take control. I think it would be hard to change this pattern because it is a personality trait that would have to change. When two people act alike all the time, it can become very competitive. In relationships, the best pair is opposites. "Opposites Attract," is what I believe in in the LONG run of a relationship. Also, I believe that the symmetrical pattern will create the most damage in a relationship. When two people are always in competition to take the upper hand, damaging things can occur; like regretful words and actions that cannot be taken back. I know if I were in this type of relationship I would become very frustrated because we can never be at ease, I would feel tension way more than I should. When it comes to self-esteem, I believe the complementary pattern would be the most damaging. The book defines this as one partner takes the one-up position and the other takes the one-down. In a parent and child relationship, this is a normal type of pattern to occur, but when you are in an intimate relationship, it becomes very diminishing when you are always 'wrong.'